While visiting Minneapolis I ended up doing a shoot with Lucas Konrad Messerer of Soul Focus Studio. If you aren’t familiar with his brilliant work, go visit his website! His images capture what many of us fantasize about…or perhaps will give you new slick and shiny dreams. I’m quite honored to have been in front of his lens.
Here are a few images from that shoot.
Throughout my time as both a lifestyle and Pro Domina I’ve seen things change and shift. Certain elements have gone for the better, and of course, other things for the worst. In discussing day to day occurrences and highlights with other Ladies in the lifestyle and industry, the topic of accountability has come up frequently. As of late it has been brought up constantly.
To be clear I cherish submissives and slaves. It takes a lot of strength to acquiesce power to another. In any kind of relationship communication-and clear communication-is required. When power is exchanged clear communication is magnified, as the lack of it inherently puts people in danger and not the fun kind. This could be anything from not mentioning taking a new medication to failing to tell me text messaging is no longer ok between certain hours of the day. The latter resulting in compromising my discretion with angry phone calls from a vanilla spouse or lover. Though communication on my end has to occur when you’ve done something wrong. This is where the topic of accountability comes into the picture.
At one point or another all of us have hurt someone we’ve cared about. It takes a lot of strength to admit we’ve done something wrong. It’s awful to be told we’ve failed at a task, forgotten something promised, didn’t do something correctly, or messed up something. Here’s the thing…if you’re submitting to someone and/or being trained as a slave, you will do something wrong at some point in time. Hopefully it’s not on purpose to play games and get attention in a manipulative way! Hopefully the mistake is accidental and not intentional. As a Dominant I will point a mistake out. Atonement will take place. If you’re in my service I expect you to learn from your mistakes. In other words, you will be held accountable for your actions.
I’m not sure why this is such a difficult thing for others to grasp. Lately there has been a lot of lashing out and passive aggressive behaviors taking place. In my aforementioned statements regarding talking with other Ladies, I know I’m not the only one this has happened to. This is why I’m inclined to put together this post. If you’re submitting to a Dominant and being trained, part of training is to consistently strive to be the best submissive and/or slave you can be. There’s a learning process. I learn about your interests, strengths, how you communicate, and other parts of your personality. By putting my energy into being fully present during my interactions with you I see exactly which steps are necessary to shape you into serving me in the best possible way. Since I require you to be present, you must learn about my tastes, how I want things done, and my values. If you slip up, I tell you. It’s a time to realize what you’ve done wrong and change your behavior. It’s never the time to lash out, make excuses, and take out insecurities on me or any Dominant you’re serving. If you’re not held accountable for your actions, there’s no power exchange. It’s not D/s anymore. Lashing out and passive aggressive behavior is not only disrespectful; it undermines trust…trust that you can communicate, that you can learn from mistakes, are accepting and value the D/s dynamic, and don’t inherently have anger issues that could become dangerous.
This brings me back to my point about strength in submission. Being held accountable for your actions can be an emotionally trying thing. Think of it this way: you’re held to certain standards at your job or within your career. When you submit there are certain standards I hold you to as well. While play and submission is cathartic and a lovely escape from the monotony, mundane, and outside stressors of life; in no way should utter escapism and an inability to be held accountable for your actions enter the D/s equation. Doing so has a negative impact on me, and the point of your submission is to make me happy while enhancing my life in some way. To be blunt, if you have a problem with being held accountable, you lack the strength to submit in a positive and effective manner. Work on yourself to have this strength before attempting to submit to me or any other Dominant.
It’s the season for fetish parties! I will be heading back down to South Florida to attend Fetish Factory Anniversary Weekend from May 25th-31st. A select number of sessions are available during this time, and double Domme sessions are available with Mistress Michelle Lacy. This will be My first time attending a Fetish Factory Anniversary Weekend, as it coincides with IML here in Chicago…yes, I’m doing a bit of a change this year. I’m hoping everyone has an excellent time at IML while I’m in Florida!
June 3rd-8th I’ll be in Minneapolis surrounding the Minneapolis Rubber Ball. It’s been a little while since I’ve performed, and I’m excited to hit the stage for this event! I look forward to seeing many of you there. Double Domme sessions will be available after the event with Mistress Jean Bardot. Be sure to follow the link to get in touch and reserve your time to serve Us.
I will be visiting Goddess Cheyenne in Atlanta March 17th-21st! Solo as well as double Domme sessions are available during this time. As I type this Our schedule is filling up quite nicely. With that said, don’t miss out on your opportunity to session with Us this time around. To arrange servitude, go to www.opulentfetish.com and fill out Goddess Cheyenne’s contact form.
For those of you who’ve only seen the top ranking videos of Us together on clips4sale, this is your chance to serve in person. Goddess Cheyenne put together a great YouTube video for My Atlanta visit. It can be viewed here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xf3zxEGga8Y
As more and more fresh blood comes into the scene I find it increasingly important to type out this blog. Why is this called the, “Session booking protocol aka the ‘how to get down’ post”? The content of this has been inspired not only by My frequent travels to different cities, but My fellow Pro Dommes tweets, emails, and conversations We’ve had both in person and over the phone. It is inspired by you, potential client-the ones who have a difficult time mustering the courage to book a session. Whether this is your first ever session, or your first ever session with Me; keep reading. There is essential information here!
What do I mean by, “how to get down”? Before the onset of social media and the internet, it was difficult to book a session with a Pro Domina. Potential slaves had to go through all sorts of hoops. There were ads in print magazines. These ads often required a potential slave to send a hand written letter with a self addressed stamped envelope to the Lady you’d like to see. Given the amount of time it took to send this correspondence and be awarded a session, the potential slave wanted to get it right at the first attempt. A proper first impression was required. Sending your interests, boundaries, and health information was paramount. Addressing a Lady by Her preferred title was a part of this interaction. In other words, sessions were an indulgence rather than a compulsion. To “get down”-have a session-protocol was adhered to.
Of course it is currently the digital age. Do you know how lucky you are now, slave? For those of you old enough to remember going through this process, things are obviously much easier. While I’ve been a Pro Domina for 12 years, My frequent travels have awarded Me conversations with those describing how things once were. Currently I have a phone where I can press a button, speak into it, and within seconds I can find anything I desire. Years ago this was not the case. Great efforts and lengths for research had to be made. Our digital age has sadly made so many compulsive and lazy. My intent in writing this is to give extra information, a specific place of reference, and to remind you that even though communication can be instantaneous, you only get one chance to make a first impression. Make sure it’s a good one.
I mentioned social media earlier, and will stress a point. For Me (and I can only speak for Myself here) social media is meant as a gateway. My website is listed in every piece of social media I have. To gain information, all you need to do is go into My profile and click on the link to My website. I don’t negotiate sessions via social media. The planning process over the years for My website has been time consuming. It is important to Me that information to answer many of your questions is clearly listed. This way I don’t have to answer the same set of questions over and over again. I can then focus on what makes you personally tick and craft an experience surrounding where I’d like to take you on your FemDom journey.
By doing this research, you will see the following:
1. How I prefer to be addressed: Mistress Natalya (this is how your correspondence should begin)
2. My preferred method of contact: email to MistressNatalyaSadici@protonmail.com
3. Where I’m currently located and My travel schedule
4. My interests and what absolutely is NOT offered in My sessions
I’m going to give you more detailed information on what should be included in your correspondence and why. It’s important to understand exactly what you’re looking for. Remember: your life is in My hands during the session. I take this responsibility very seriously and you should too.
In your initial email include the following:
1. Proper address of Me-“Mistress Natalya” is a sign of respect
2. Your name-include your first name as well as any social media aliases and message board screen names. Yes, I research you just as you should have done your research on Me.
3. How you heard about Me-I have ads and links everywhere. It’s really wonderful to know which ads are working as well as what information you’ve seen already. It’s not uncommon to hear that another Lady or member of the scene referred you. If that’s the case, I like to thank the person who spoke highly of Me. I can’t give proper thanks unless it’s stated who that person was.
4. What you would like to explore in session, interests, and fetishes-if I have no idea what you’re looking for, I don’t want to pry it out of you. Clear communication is key to having a great session experience. If you’re new, definitely say so! Describing what you think and fantasize about is a huge help. Be specific. Saying, “I want to be Dominated”, is vague and says nothing. Listing specific activities such as: CBT, bondage, or spanking is what I mean here.
5. Limits-these are things I absolutely can’t do to you. Even though My sessions are a power exchange, I take control ethically. Having certain activities that are explored only after developing a rapport is perfectly acceptable. I take great joy in expanding horizons and limits, however, I need to know what your limits are and what can be expanded!
6. Any health issues or medications you’re currently taking-Often the first thing that pops into someone’s mind is, “I don’t have any STDs”. Things such as a previous shoulder injury, bad back, or knees effect bondage positions I may put you into. Taking Cialis, or any other erectile enhancements greatly impacts sessions. I need to know these things to take certain precautions. Even though you may think something is minor, list it. Part of being a scene professional is knowing how different injuries and health issues can impact BDSM exploration. If you aren’t honest and transparent about this, not only do you put yourself at risk, but you put Me and My business at risk.
7. The day, time, and session length desired-I am a full time Professional Dominatrix. Going back and forth about “what works best for My schedule”, is not something I care to get into. Communicating specifically when you’d like to session means you’ll be taken more seriously, and your correspondence will be answered as soon as possible. It often helps to state it in the subject of your email. An example of this is: “Fort Lauderdale session inquiry 8/25”. I require a minimum notice of 24 hours for first time sessions. Proper planning is always best. If you’re wanting to session for multiple hours, it’s best to give as much advance notice as possible. I require a deposit for session bookings and go over this process once the session is negotiated.
Be sure to use proper grammar and spelling. Emails to Me must be given the same attention and care correspondence to another business professionals would be given. Type out, “You”. Capitalize, “Mistress Natalya”. Think of the questions you’re about to ask in correspondence, but make sure these questions aren’t already answered on My website.
During our email exchanges, answer ALL of My questions. I have a reason for them. Picking and choosing which questions are answered is disrespectful. Follow My instructions to the letter, and the session will be positive experience. There is no dodging My protocol or working around it. Even if you’re booking a fetish exploration session, you are still giving up power and control because I craft the experience.
Goddess Cheyenne has written a wonderful book which not only enables you as a submissive male to make an excellent first impression on a FemDom, but also to recognize fact from fiction in FemDom advertising. I highly suggest reading it, and you can find it here: http://www.amazon.com/Yes-Maam-Submissives-Meeting-Mistress-ebook/dp/B00U8Z11O6/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1439943967&sr=1-1&keywords=Cheyenne+Mack
I look forward to hearing from you, slave, and wish you the best on your FemDom journey.
For a few years slaves have asked, “when are you visiting NYC, Mistress?” My answer now is: June 21st to July 6th! After visiting LA for DomCon with Mistress Michelle Lacy, I thought it was only fair the east coast received a dose of Our sadistic synergy. So, doubles with Mistress Michelle are highly encouraged.
JUNE 21st-27th: We’ll be in NYC at a private apartment in the Times Square area with an arsenal of BDSM gear and wardrobe that only you can expect from two established, professional and super kinky Women. With many dungeons to choose from nearby, there are options for those slaves who prefer dungeon furniture and that kind of a setting.
JUNE 27th-JULY 2nd: We will be in Long Island (with some NYC options available for sessions that are 2 hours minimum during this time). Appointments are available in Mistress Michelle’s private studio as well as an upscale sound-proofed hotel on the Nassau-Suffolk border.
JULY 2nd-6th: I will be presenting three classes for TES Fest! Once the presentation schedule is solidified, I’ll announce the exact dates and times.
I urge you to arrange your session with Mistress Michelle and I in advance. Send an email with, “NYC session” or “Long Island” session to either MistressNatalya@gmail.com or michellelacy85@yahoo.com.
I’m trying to be better about blogging after My travels. This DomCon LA recap entry has had many incarnations, as DomCon is always such a whirlwind of wonderful activity! In previous years I’ve learned to add a day or two before the convention starts and possibly after. This year I met up with Mistress Michelle Lacy in LA on a Tuesday and left Monday evening-a total of six days to dedicate to this fantastic journey. As I kept saying to newcomers, “DomCon is a marathon, not a sprint.”
Before the Industry Classes, Mistress Dinner, Red Carpet, and Opening Ceremonies(the photo on the left is with fellow Advisory Board Members); Mistress Michelle and I were doing sessions with delightful slaves. Throughout our near week long visit, we had many sessions with heavy bondage enthusiasts, masochists, and males into humiliation. Our first few sessions set a great tone for me to enjoy all things DomCon! While I definitely wear many hats during the convention-sessioning, welcoming new comers, answering questions, shooting video, attending the convention itself, social media, and networking-it’s always so inspiring. There are attendees from all over. I always leave DomCon having learned something new despite how long I’ve been both a lifestyle Dominant and scene professional.
During the Mistress Dinner I finally met Hudsy Hawn(pictured far right)! She, as well as Snow Mercy and many other fine Ladies, all sat at the same table with Me. Conversations ranged from what We’d all been doing lately to head shaving. It was not only a time to catch up, but an opportunity to discuss the various cities We play in. I also met Miss Grey and Mistress Tara Sterling-two Ladies I had only known of through posts on Max Fisch as well as Twitter. My hope is DomCon will see them again in the future. After the Mistress Dinner, Hudsy and I caught up briefly with Mistress Melissa(pictured in the middle). I was glad to have the chance to compliment Mistress Melissa on Her, “Dungeon Safety and Sterilization” class. Having a skilled professional with such a devious sense of humor is an asset to the industry classes.
The Red Carpet led into The Opening Ceremonies. There was a mix of entertainment, thanking DomCon’s sponsors, awarding the Mistresses of Ceremonies, Guests of Honor, and thanking all the presenters. Instead of listing everyone here, dear reader, I will instruct you to look at www.domconla.com to see all the wonderful people involved with DomCon LA. The convention would not be what it is without all the efforts of so many-including attendees that spread the word!
On Friday I was able to shoot a scene for Domina Irene Boss’s upcoming video project! Domina Irene invited many professionals to shoot scenes, and I am honored to also be a part of it. Stay tuned to www.domboss.com for announcements regarding this upcoming project. Mistress Michelle and My sub was unchained from working on latex repairs in Our hotel suite to be tormented in this. What a lucky guy! During the Play Party at The Sanctuary We also had fun spanking him. Since it was his first DomCon experience, We were determined to leave lasting imprints on both his mind and backside. In order to force him into chastity on Saturday, I ended up grabbing My eyeglasses case to calm him down with repeated blows to his balls. My case says, “Rampage”, on it which We found hysterical! Mistress Michelle locked him up, and We held the keys for the remainder of the weekend.
Mistress Ellen had asked Me to be one of the judges for the Pet Show Saturday afternoon. Pictured on the left is an adorable ring-tailed lemur! All the pets did their best tricks for Us as well as the audience. Playboy TV ended up covering the Pet Show, so, stay tuned and be sure to look up Mistress Ellen for both this show and the Pony Show which occurred directly after. Once the Pet and Pony Shows were over, it was time to go to the infamous DDI photo! Once I returned to Chicago, Lady Sophia Chase and Master Jack Chase gave Me a wonderful print of one of the many images taken. I counted over 90 Pro Dommes in the image! Alice in Bondageland also takes video footage of all of us coming together for this. In years past She’s sped up the footage to show the sheer scale of all of Us coming together. Below you can see one of the many images taken during this. Goddess Soma and Her team for DDI graciously supplied glasses of champagne to the Ladies. I’ve found the DDI photo shoot to also be a way to connect various Ladies who may have not gotten the chance to chat at various points of DomCon LA. During the shoot I was able to see Lynn Pops and meet Mistress Selina.
As luck would have it, one of My pain pigs who I see in Chicago happened to be in LA during DomCon. I had wanted to do a double Domme session with Mistress Michelle Lacy and him. It had been on My mind for a while that he’d enjoy Our sadistic synergy. Saturday evening We were able to have a session! Clad in latex catsuits, Mistress Michelle and I worked him over until 2am. Reports of being sore days after session came in, but he survived Us! Evidence of his working over can be viewed below. Oh, how I love bull whipping while wearing latex!
On Sunday many of Us were able to enjoy the Mistress Tea while served by various males. The Tea was relaxing and a much needed way to start winding down DomCon. Service-oriented submissives hold a special place in My devious heart, and I love seeing how E/everyone dresses up for tea. As with many DomCons, there are always people I wished I could have spent more time with. The weekend goes by so fast, but I’m hoping friends and colleagues will visit Chicago, or I will have the opportunity to visit all the lovely places T/they live over time. I view DomCon as not only an essential convention for the lifestyle and scene professionals, but a place to meet people who will impact your life in positive ways.
I will be in LA for DomCon May 12th-18th and taking sessions on these dates! While I always pack my toy bag with hundreds of feet of rope for all types of bondage scenes; many other items will be packed also. Whips, paddles, canes, electro devices, body bags, and more will be in my suitcase. I highly suggest planning in advance to ensure certain items for your session are included. Double Domme sessions are also possible with Mistress Michelle Lacy and potentially many other fine Ladies during DomCon!
To reserve your session booking be sure to email me at MistressNatalya@gmail.com with the subject line, “LA Session”, and include your desired session day, time, and length.
If you are attending DomCon, I also will be one of the judges for the Pet Show on May 16th at 2pm. Don’t miss out on this wonderful event! I look forward to seeing everyone there.
From March 26th-29th I will be traveling to Atlanta to visit Goddess Cheyenne! During this trip We’ll be shooting video content, but some slots are still available for double Domme sessions on March 27th. In order to book your time with Us, go to Her website, www.opulentfetish.com, and fill out Her contact form. Deposits are required to secure your session time.
I am extremely excited to visit Goddess Cheyenne as We share many interests: intricate and inescapable bondage, whipping, OTK spanking, caning, boot and high heel worship, NT, and CBT are a few options you may explore with Us both.
It’s a shame I can’t bring Lolly(the female bottom in the photo) with Me. Something tells Me Goddess Cheyenne would enjoy playing with her as much as I do. Oh well…hopefully next time!
I will be heading to Dallas, Texas for September Surrender the 11th-15th! Maitresse Renee has done a spectacular job of putting together a lineup of performers, classes, and parties you don’t want to miss! How often can you say, “hotel takeover” with regards to a kinky event? This is one of those cases. You can still purchase tickets for the event by going to www.septembersurrender.com.
One of the many reasons I’m attending September Surrender is to present. During the weekend I’ll be teaching three classes. I’ve included their information below:
Friday(9/12) 1pm-2pm in Chic I
Negotiations-for a night, a play partner, or for a collar
Saturday(9/13) 5pm-6pm Chic II
Pervertables 101
Sunday(9/14) 1:30pm-2:30pm Chic I
Sensory Deprivation
I look forward to seeing as many of you at September Surrender and in my classes as possible. If you want to take a look at some of the fun had when I was last in Dallas for the SS kickoff party, here is video proof: