Chastity Assignments: Foot Allowance
That is your chastity key dangling between My perfectly pedicured toes. As you’ve been following My daily instructions, I’m sure you’re frustrated. Though today’s teasing will work you up into a frenzy! My feet are quite talented and reinforce your place-one where you’re subservient and controlled. With your cage quite rattled, will you ever earn release?
Purchase this and other FemDom content at Sadici Studios
Inevitable Stripes
It’s come to My attention you weren’t properly trained. Perhaps your previous experiences in Femdom were ones where you weren’t held accountable for your actions. This changes now! Becoming My slave means learning My standards, adhering to protocol, and discipline for infractions. I don’t walk softly, but I do carry a big stick. Caning isn’t merely taps. Strokes of the cane are hard and meant to correct. This is authentic FemDom and you will be transformed into something of My own design.
Purchase this and other FemDom content at Sadici Studios
Superior SO
What you have between your legs is disappointing for a variety of reasons. There’s no reason to take pride in it. My strap on is always hard and never has issues with premature ejaculation. I can even swap out whatever length and girth combination I desire. Unlike you, I’m not stuck with such inadequate anatomy. Accept your place and why you’re transfixed by My superior strap on.
Purchase this and other FemDom content at Sadici Studios
Pantyhose Imprisonment
High quality hosiery glides across My silky smooth and shapely legs. There’s no match for the range of denier hosiery companies such as Wolford and Falke produce. The thin material allows you to see much of My skin while feeling heavenly. It draws you in. The hot weather here means My sweat gets trapped in My pantyhose quite easily. Though it’s not enough to simply look at Me wearing pantyhose. I’m going to encase you head to toe in multiple pairs. A prisoner to your fetish, you’ll inhale My aroma in many worn pairs.
Purchase this and other FemDom content at Sadici Studios
Restraint Realized
Being helpless, controlled, and at My mercy floods your thoughts day in and day out. Freedom in restraint-it’s where every aspect of your vanilla life melts away. When your brain shuts off and forces you to be completely present, I have you exactly where I want you. In many ways this is a meditative state-one where I lead and you follow. Of course you are in capable hands.
Purchase this and other FemDom content at Sadici Studios
Hard To Get To Know
Over time I’ve heard it frequently-the comment, “you’re hard to get to know”. I respond with, “yes, I know” and a sly smile. While refusing to take this as some kind of insult, it does shine some light on something I post a bit ago on social media. “Lifestyle public. Personal life private.” The exchange led to discussion about the concept of oversharing. I found it time to put together this entry. Much like anything I post publicly, I put a lot of thought into it knowing once something is post there’s always a way to find it.
Knowledge is very powerful. It can also be a weapon. In my experience disclosing too much information leads to a false sense of camaraderie. The power dynamic gets turned around with a new person thinking we’re pals instead of Mistress and slave. I’m not saying a friendship never blossoms out of a D/s dynamic. Though it is a rare human that doesn’t pull the, “friendship card” when being held accountable for infractions, misdeeds, and other negative behaviors. At the very least this is an annoyance. At the worst it’s outright dangerous with slander, stalking, and physical violence. Trust is built over time and not automatically given. The details of my personal life do not impact my ability to conduct my sessions. It’s called professionalism. Being a Professional Dominatrix requires diving very deeply into fantasies, how someone thinks, having the awareness to read body language, excellent communication, and managing energy-both the client’s and my own. If I don’t have control over myself, how can I maintain control over another human? My best and longest serving slaves tend to be intensely private people. The proverbial, “allure of the hidden” was the initial attraction to my world. Due to a firm grip on privacy, they trust their personal information won’t be bandied about online or shared with outside parties. I would never snap a session photo without explicit consent-even if it wasn’t shared online. It’s called ethics. If I decide to share personal information about myself, that is my choice. I make this choice according to what trust has been built over time. Make no mistake of thinking I’m a private person out of some shame I hold over being a Dominant kinky woman. I love being a professional pervert and am proud of how I make my living. My career has been made out of my lifestyle.
As a lifestyle and professional Mistress, here’s where certain waters get murky. Again, disclose too much information to someone who’s untrustworthy and the outcomes are the same as mentioned earlier. Events are tailored for kinky individuals to meet, share information, learn, and grow as people. This is a beautiful thing, and I have loved my involvement with and attendance at all sorts of kinky events. If it weren’t for these gatherings of like-minded people our interactions would be left primarily to words on a screen. Though the lifestyle is not all wine and roses. Untrustworthy and dangerous people do make it into certain circles. Due to our wanting to accept people for their kinks and increasing costs to throw quality events, it can be difficult if not impossible to ostracize the poisoned apples. The best that can be done is be careful, be aware, trust your instincts, and take time to get to know people. Removing one’s self from negative situations and people is unfortunately looked upon as, “being an island”. There is nothing wrong with taking time for yourself to heal, work on yourself, and make choices that are right for you. I like to say I’m an island-one that has bridges and gates. Through time and experience certain individuals are allowed through. Becoming extremely discerning has meant connections run more deeply.
So, what do I want you to know about me? I’ve thought about this a lot since relocating from Chicago to South Florida over a year ago. Much like any woman who boldly lives life on her own terms and doesn’t seek approval from others, there’s a lot of misinformation about. What I want you to know falls into the value category.
1. Being interrupted or talked over is one of my biggest pet peeves. Not only does it show a lack of self control, but it shows a lack of respect. I discipline harshly for this. In non D/s interactions, I become very quiet to preserve my energy unless my speaking up is very important.
2. I never understand how humans can be bored. My philosophy instructor once said, “being bored means you lack the intelligence to entertain yourself.” A friend in the lifestyle says, “only the boring are bored, darling.” I value active minds, self starters, deep conversations, and those who research all manner of topics. The mind is the most powerful sex organ, and I’m a sapiosexual. Stating you’re, “bored” is a huge turn off.
3. A common misconception is if someone is quiet, they are somehow less or not Dominant. There are times where I’m very quiet due to listening to someone rather than merely hearing the person. Silence is often a great shield against narcissists.
4. Despite being a fetishist, I value experiences and connection over material things. Though if someone shows lack of respect for the things I’ve worked hard for, I do get angry.
5. I am wary of those who state: “I’m a gentleman”, “I hate drama”, “I hate gossip”, “trust me”, and “I am an honest person”. Those who have to make those statements are trying to either convince themselves, me, or both they embody those things or have certain values. Those who are gentlemen, dislike drama and gossip, are trustworthy, and honest live their lives accordingly. They walk the walk rather than needing to make loud proclamations. In saying this, I look for actions as they are far more telling.
6. There is a difference between being territorial and jealousy. If you become my property, I am territorial. This means I am protective of you as you have shown me loyalty, and embody other qualities I value. I am not jealous of what others have. Their hard work and sacrifices mean they’ve earned what they possess. Jealousy is counterproductive to life experience. If there is something desired, it’s paramount to take steps to achieve it.
7. I deplore passive aggressive behavior. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Passive aggressive behavior undermines trust-the foundation of any kind of relationship. A direct approach is always best.
8. Despite the serious tone of this writing, wit and humor is important to me. Just know your sense of humor may be different than mine.
While visiting Minneapolis I ended up doing a shoot with Lucas Konrad Messerer of Soul Focus Studio. If you aren’t familiar with his brilliant work, go visit his website! His images capture what many of us fantasize about…or perhaps will give you new slick and shiny dreams. I’m quite honored to have been in front of his lens.
Here are a few images from that shoot.
Throughout my time as both a lifestyle and Pro Domina I’ve seen things change and shift. Certain elements have gone for the better, and of course, other things for the worst. In discussing day to day occurrences and highlights with other Ladies in the lifestyle and industry, the topic of accountability has come up frequently. As of late it has been brought up constantly.
To be clear I cherish submissives and slaves. It takes a lot of strength to acquiesce power to another. In any kind of relationship communication-and clear communication-is required. When power is exchanged clear communication is magnified, as the lack of it inherently puts people in danger and not the fun kind. This could be anything from not mentioning taking a new medication to failing to tell me text messaging is no longer ok between certain hours of the day. The latter resulting in compromising my discretion with angry phone calls from a vanilla spouse or lover. Though communication on my end has to occur when you’ve done something wrong. This is where the topic of accountability comes into the picture.
At one point or another all of us have hurt someone we’ve cared about. It takes a lot of strength to admit we’ve done something wrong. It’s awful to be told we’ve failed at a task, forgotten something promised, didn’t do something correctly, or messed up something. Here’s the thing…if you’re submitting to someone and/or being trained as a slave, you will do something wrong at some point in time. Hopefully it’s not on purpose to play games and get attention in a manipulative way! Hopefully the mistake is accidental and not intentional. As a Dominant I will point a mistake out. Atonement will take place. If you’re in my service I expect you to learn from your mistakes. In other words, you will be held accountable for your actions.
I’m not sure why this is such a difficult thing for others to grasp. Lately there has been a lot of lashing out and passive aggressive behaviors taking place. In my aforementioned statements regarding talking with other Ladies, I know I’m not the only one this has happened to. This is why I’m inclined to put together this post. If you’re submitting to a Dominant and being trained, part of training is to consistently strive to be the best submissive and/or slave you can be. There’s a learning process. I learn about your interests, strengths, how you communicate, and other parts of your personality. By putting my energy into being fully present during my interactions with you I see exactly which steps are necessary to shape you into serving me in the best possible way. Since I require you to be present, you must learn about my tastes, how I want things done, and my values. If you slip up, I tell you. It’s a time to realize what you’ve done wrong and change your behavior. It’s never the time to lash out, make excuses, and take out insecurities on me or any Dominant you’re serving. If you’re not held accountable for your actions, there’s no power exchange. It’s not D/s anymore. Lashing out and passive aggressive behavior is not only disrespectful; it undermines trust…trust that you can communicate, that you can learn from mistakes, are accepting and value the D/s dynamic, and don’t inherently have anger issues that could become dangerous.
This brings me back to my point about strength in submission. Being held accountable for your actions can be an emotionally trying thing. Think of it this way: you’re held to certain standards at your job or within your career. When you submit there are certain standards I hold you to as well. While play and submission is cathartic and a lovely escape from the monotony, mundane, and outside stressors of life; in no way should utter escapism and an inability to be held accountable for your actions enter the D/s equation. Doing so has a negative impact on me, and the point of your submission is to make me happy while enhancing my life in some way. To be blunt, if you have a problem with being held accountable, you lack the strength to submit in a positive and effective manner. Work on yourself to have this strength before attempting to submit to me or any other Dominant.
As more and more fresh blood comes into the scene I find it increasingly important to type out this blog. Why is this called the, “Session booking protocol aka the ‘how to get down’ post”? The content of this has been inspired not only by My frequent travels to different cities, but My fellow Pro Dommes tweets, emails, and conversations We’ve had both in person and over the phone. It is inspired by you, potential client-the ones who have a difficult time mustering the courage to book a session. Whether this is your first ever session, or your first ever session with Me; keep reading. There is essential information here!
What do I mean by, “how to get down”? Before the onset of social media and the internet, it was difficult to book a session with a Pro Domina. Potential slaves had to go through all sorts of hoops. There were ads in print magazines. These ads often required a potential slave to send a hand written letter with a self addressed stamped envelope to the Lady you’d like to see. Given the amount of time it took to send this correspondence and be awarded a session, the potential slave wanted to get it right at the first attempt. A proper first impression was required. Sending your interests, boundaries, and health information was paramount. Addressing a Lady by Her preferred title was a part of this interaction. In other words, sessions were an indulgence rather than a compulsion. To “get down”-have a session-protocol was adhered to.
Of course it is currently the digital age. Do you know how lucky you are now, slave? For those of you old enough to remember going through this process, things are obviously much easier. While I’ve been a Pro Domina for 12 years, My frequent travels have awarded Me conversations with those describing how things once were. Currently I have a phone where I can press a button, speak into it, and within seconds I can find anything I desire. Years ago this was not the case. Great efforts and lengths for research had to be made. Our digital age has sadly made so many compulsive and lazy. My intent in writing this is to give extra information, a specific place of reference, and to remind you that even though communication can be instantaneous, you only get one chance to make a first impression. Make sure it’s a good one.
I mentioned social media earlier, and will stress a point. For Me (and I can only speak for Myself here) social media is meant as a gateway. My website is listed in every piece of social media I have. To gain information, all you need to do is go into My profile and click on the link to My website. I don’t negotiate sessions via social media. The planning process over the years for My website has been time consuming. It is important to Me that information to answer many of your questions is clearly listed. This way I don’t have to answer the same set of questions over and over again. I can then focus on what makes you personally tick and craft an experience surrounding where I’d like to take you on your FemDom journey.
By doing this research, you will see the following:
1. How I prefer to be addressed: Mistress Natalya (this is how your correspondence should begin)
2. My preferred method of contact: email to MistressNatalyaSadici@protonmail.com
3. Where I’m currently located and My travel schedule
4. My interests and what absolutely is NOT offered in My sessions
I’m going to give you more detailed information on what should be included in your correspondence and why. It’s important to understand exactly what you’re looking for. Remember: your life is in My hands during the session. I take this responsibility very seriously and you should too.
In your initial email include the following:
1. Proper address of Me-“Mistress Natalya” is a sign of respect
2. Your name-include your first name as well as any social media aliases and message board screen names. Yes, I research you just as you should have done your research on Me.
3. How you heard about Me-I have ads and links everywhere. It’s really wonderful to know which ads are working as well as what information you’ve seen already. It’s not uncommon to hear that another Lady or member of the scene referred you. If that’s the case, I like to thank the person who spoke highly of Me. I can’t give proper thanks unless it’s stated who that person was.
4. What you would like to explore in session, interests, and fetishes-if I have no idea what you’re looking for, I don’t want to pry it out of you. Clear communication is key to having a great session experience. If you’re new, definitely say so! Describing what you think and fantasize about is a huge help. Be specific. Saying, “I want to be Dominated”, is vague and says nothing. Listing specific activities such as: CBT, bondage, or spanking is what I mean here.
5. Limits-these are things I absolutely can’t do to you. Even though My sessions are a power exchange, I take control ethically. Having certain activities that are explored only after developing a rapport is perfectly acceptable. I take great joy in expanding horizons and limits, however, I need to know what your limits are and what can be expanded!
6. Any health issues or medications you’re currently taking-Often the first thing that pops into someone’s mind is, “I don’t have any STDs”. Things such as a previous shoulder injury, bad back, or knees effect bondage positions I may put you into. Taking Cialis, or any other erectile enhancements greatly impacts sessions. I need to know these things to take certain precautions. Even though you may think something is minor, list it. Part of being a scene professional is knowing how different injuries and health issues can impact BDSM exploration. If you aren’t honest and transparent about this, not only do you put yourself at risk, but you put Me and My business at risk.
7. The day, time, and session length desired-I am a full time Professional Dominatrix. Going back and forth about “what works best for My schedule”, is not something I care to get into. Communicating specifically when you’d like to session means you’ll be taken more seriously, and your correspondence will be answered as soon as possible. It often helps to state it in the subject of your email. An example of this is: “Fort Lauderdale session inquiry 8/25”. I require a minimum notice of 24 hours for first time sessions. Proper planning is always best. If you’re wanting to session for multiple hours, it’s best to give as much advance notice as possible. I require a deposit for session bookings and go over this process once the session is negotiated.
Be sure to use proper grammar and spelling. Emails to Me must be given the same attention and care correspondence to another business professionals would be given. Type out, “You”. Capitalize, “Mistress Natalya”. Think of the questions you’re about to ask in correspondence, but make sure these questions aren’t already answered on My website.
During our email exchanges, answer ALL of My questions. I have a reason for them. Picking and choosing which questions are answered is disrespectful. Follow My instructions to the letter, and the session will be positive experience. There is no dodging My protocol or working around it. Even if you’re booking a fetish exploration session, you are still giving up power and control because I craft the experience.
Goddess Cheyenne has written a wonderful book which not only enables you as a submissive male to make an excellent first impression on a FemDom, but also to recognize fact from fiction in FemDom advertising. I highly suggest reading it, and you can find it here: http://www.amazon.com/Yes-Maam-Submissives-Meeting-Mistress-ebook/dp/B00U8Z11O6/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1439943967&sr=1-1&keywords=Cheyenne+Mack
I look forward to hearing from you, slave, and wish you the best on your FemDom journey.
I remember getting my first latex piece from Laura, aka Vex Clothing, about 10 years ago. It was slick, shiny, and hugged my curves in all the right ways. Guess what? I still have that first piece from her. That, I know, is a testament to the quality and passion Laura has for making the best latex garments possible.
Right now Laura is taking Voyeur, the sister brand to Vex, to the next level. You can take part in helping this vision become a reality by checking out her Kickstarter here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/vexclothing/voyeur-by-vex-clothing-inc
Let’s help Laura get more latex in more closets around the world!